[Letter of John Henry Newman to Francis William Newman.]
Here at Oxford I am most comfortable. The quiet and stillness of everything around me tends to calm and lull those emotions which the near prospect of my grand examination, and a heart too solicitous about fame and too fearful of failure, are continually striving to excite. I read very much, certainly, but God enables me to praise Him with joyful lips when I rise, and when I lie down, and when I wake in the night. For the calm happiness I enjoy I cannot feel thankful as I ought. How in my future life, if I do live, shall I look back with a sad smile at these days! It is my daily, and I hope heartfelt, prayer that I may not get any honours here if they are to be the least cause of sin to me. As the time approaches and I have laboured more at my books, the trial is greater.